


A Love Not Lost

by idreamofignoct



Category: Elder Scrolls Online
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Mild Sexual Content, Reincarnation, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27679421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idreamofignoct/pseuds/idreamofignoct
Summary: Early in Kaia's role as Vestige, she met and aided many people, but none became more important to her than Darien Gautier. When her initiation into the Psijic Order revealed not only her feelings for him, but his fate as the Golden Knight, she steeled herself for a life without him. But then she meets a man bearing his resemblance, and all those old emotions come roaring back to the surface.
Relationships: Darien Gautier/Female Vestige
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little ode to my Nord girl Kaia and the Breton hedonist she loves. Also, I had played through the Summerset quests before completing the Daggerfall Covenant ones, so it made a perfect storyline for my fic. I hope you enjoy it. :)

When Kaia was a girl, she read a story about a woman who foresaw her true love’s early death, and how she struggled to cope with this knowledge as they made their life together. Kaia, in all the wisdom of naivete, believed the woman foolish. Why stay with him if she knew exactly when and how he was to die? Why bring on that kind of pain?

Kaia no longer considered that woman foolish. For she suffered under the same burden of truth.

Her gaze drifted past the throngs of people to linger on Darien Gautier. Seeing him there, surrounded by friends and comrades, regaling his audience with some tale of derring-do, it was hard not to think on what lay before him. That one day soon, he would vanish from this plane, only to reemerge as the Golden Knight, a vessel for Meridia’s power. That he would ultimately give his life to help restore Dawnbreaker, then return to the Colored Rooms. Denied his promised freedom, denied the life he wanted to live, fated to slowly vanish, with only his exploits to remember him by. 

Seated apart from the celebrations, hearing Darien’s easy laughter, Kaia felt even more alone with this knowledge than ever. Or perhaps it was the amount of mead she consumed since the night’s celebration began. Normally, she would be as energetic as any Nord, laughing and boasting alongside Darien. Tonight, the mead made her melancholy. Contemplative. Thinking too much of what she wanted, knowing it could never be. Knowing that, even if she were at liberty to tell him the truth, Darien would still follow the path Meridia laid out for him. It was just who he was.

Gabrielle joined the circle of eager listeners, her expression fond as she watched Darien. She, too, had fallen prey to Darien’s infamous charm. Kaia couldn’t hold it against her, not when she and scores of other women found him irresistible. Not that Kaia didn’t try, of course. 

When she first met him, he seemed too arrogant and full of himself for her taste. When he brazenly insinuated their sharing a drink, Kaia had scoffed at his presumption and turned him down. Darien accepted her rejection with grace, thanked her for her help with the Lion Guard, and they went their separate ways. But their paths continued to cross. The more time she spent with him, the more he lingered on her mind after they parted. It all came to a head when Kaia began her initiation into the Psijic Order. When she met the man Darien was destined to become. When she watched, helpless, as Darien made that fateful choice. When she realized her feelings for him had grown into something more. 

By the gods, she wished she never knew what was going to happen to him. 

“Here you are.” Darien’s cheery voice brought Kaia from her musings. He approached her, a little unsteady on his feet. The openness of his expression revealed he had quite a few drinks. He checked at seeing her on the bench. “Sitting down? During a party?” Darien shook his head. “We won a great battle today. Thought you’d be drinking as much as I am.” He wiggled his mug in midair.

Bless the man, he could make her smile even as she thought about how he was going to die. “Oh, I am.” She showed him the half empty bottle by her feet. 

Darien laughed, then plopped onto the bench beside her. Laid a friendly hand on her shoulder. Kaia allowed herself the pleasure of having him close. 

“I admit, you had me worried,” he said with casual frankness. “You always seem so serious. Don’t get me wrong, I like that about you. But seeing you with a drink in your hand is a lot better. The great Kaia, champion the world over, letting her guard down.” Darien’s gaze lingered on her face. “I like it.”

The way he looked at her so steadily, as if waiting on some sign, set Kaia’s heart racing. A memory of the book she found in Alinor came to mind. How the contents left her reeling. The resignation to his fate. The ardent wish to keep those you love close. The confession. Gods, the confession. She had wept over those words for a long time. She also had a vague memory of throwing an empty bottle at a statue of Meridia. 

Kaia took another sip of her mead. Used its warmth to anchor her to the present. “Is that the famous charm talking?” she asked wryly, for he waved to a group of women who passed by. They flirted with their eyes and smiles. Darien preened a bit under the attention, going so far as to stand and strike a heroic pose, all to the smattering of applause. Kaia rolled her eyes. There was just no helping it.

Darien resumed his seat and turned a bright, unapologetic smile her way. “You know it comes naturally to me.” 

Kaia snorted into her mead. “Such humility! Don’t ever change, Darien.”

“Never fear,” Darien promised her with more than a little drunken bravado. “I’ll still be as lovable, as charming, and as humble as ever.” He paused for a moment. “Unless something really drastic happens, that is.”

“Even then, you won’t change,” Kaia murmured, the mead compelling her to honesty. 

At this, Darien looked at her with renewed interest. “Oh? Does the great Psijic have some insight into my future? Dare I hope it involves a case of ale and a beautiful woman or two?” 

Kaia laughed. Melancholy thoughts vanished before his unashamed hedonism. “Why ask for a prediction? That sounds like every night for you.”

Darien responded with a hearty laugh. “Only if my luck, and my memory, holds out.” He paused to take a long draught, then looked over at her. “Still. I was hoping for something more…specific.”

Kaia lifted a brow. “More specific than two women and a case of ale?” 

He glanced away, suddenly interested in the contents of his mug. This took Kaia by surprise. Darien was anything but shy. Seeing him react this way was quite an education.

“Yes,” Darien said after a moment. “More adventures. More, you know…”

His words grew too low to hear. Kaia leaned in close, about to ask him to speak up when he turned his head. Now nose to nose, Kaia stared at him, caught between wanting to push him away and pull him close. Darien, for his part, appeared hesitant, hopeful, so unlike the confident ladies’ man she knew him to be. Kaia did not miss his brief glance at her mouth. Nor did she miss her own gaze lingering on his lips. 

Darien reached for her. His fingers caressed the side of her neck as he sought the back of her head. The contact sent pleasant shivers down her spine. A tiny smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as Darien leaned in close, his gaze never leaving hers. Kaia waited.

But then, quite suddenly, he slumped against her, his face pressed to her chest, the mug slipping from his hand to clatter onto the floor. 

It took a moment for Kaia to understand what had happened, and what almost happened. But as the weight of him bore down on her, Kaia gave a resigned sigh. It seemed fate rather liked toying with her emotions. 

After setting her glass down, she wrapped a supportive arm around him. “Come on, humble knight,” she murmured. “Let’s get you someplace quiet.”

Darien mumbled incoherently but managed to stand as she did. 

Draping his arm around her shoulder, Kaia headed for the stairwell. More than a few people cast intrigued looks her way. Gabrielle shook her head with fond exasperation while Skordo saluted their passage. Someone else encouraged Kaia to ‘Clear his head like a true Nord,’ resulting in raucous laughter. 

Once upstairs, Kaia ushered Darien to the bed. He flopped onto it with all the grace of a felled tree. Mumbled something about the bed being soft as Kaia removed his boots and armor as if she were his squire. Soon he slipped into a light doze, emitting soft, bubbling snores as she worked. Her movements were sluggish, for it seemed the mead hit her all at once. 

Dropping pieces of armor wherever, Kaia collapsed onto the bed beside him, too tired to move. Swore the gods laughed at her for allowing this chance to share a bed with him, but not in the way she would have liked. Her eyes drifted closed, she was at the cusp of sleep when Darien half-draped himself over her, his head nestled upon her chest. The warmth of his breath on her skin remained steady, leading her to believe he had immediately fallen asleep. She smoothed her hand over his hair, unable to resist doing so. 

He rubbed his cheek against her breast with a small, pleased sound. When he lifted his face to hers, his smile one of sleepy satisfaction, Kaia understood just what specific scenario he longed for. 

She sighed, amused and nettled. “You didn’t pass out at all.”

“Oh, I did,” he admitted drowsily. “Always do after the first round. Lucky for me to wake up with the woman I hoped for. It’s a dream come true.” At seeing her scowl, he pulled a face. “You wouldn’t deny a man his dream, would you?” 

A pang of regret tugged at Kaia’s heart as she searched his face. Thought how Darien was going to be denied a great many things. As was she. 

A rush of determination swept through her. To Oblivion with the gods and fate. She wouldn’t let anyone take this night from them.

Kaia laid her hand against his cheek. Darien brightened at the contact, and damn if he didn’t look so happy. “Well? What are you waiting for?”

Darien smiled roguishly and leaned in. This time, there was no hesitation. The warmth of his mouth on hers, the taste of mead on her tongue, drew forth a smile. Though by no means the earth-shattering type described in the storybooks, this sloppy, uncoordinated kiss was perfect as far as Kaia was concerned, and exactly what she needed. 

The next morning, Kaia woke to the all-too familiar ache in her head. Wincing, she pressed her hand to her brow, trying to recall how she ended up in bed. The low groan echoing beside her had her open her eyes.

Darien lay there, looking as rough as she felt. Seeing him shirtless while also realizing the laces on her bodice had been undone brought forth a hazy memory of the night before: Darien muttering about the complexity of lacing, Kaia fumbling at his pants with all the skill of someone born without hands. In the end they fell asleep, too exhausted and drunk to attempt something more. 

“Ow,” he mumbled. “Going to need a few potions to take care of this one.” Upon seeing her attempt to retie her laces, his expression went from puzzled to embarrassed to disappointed. “Damn. Normally I’d remember a night with a lovely lady.”

She gave a small laugh. “And I’d remember a night with a charmer,” she replied. “So maybe it wasn’t great.”

At this, Darien honestly looked horrified. Like the prospect of being bad at sex never crossed his mind. 

Kaia laughed again and pressed against him. “We didn’t get very far,” she said, smiling as he wrapped an arm around her to hold her tight. The warmth of their embrace made her drowsy. “Why don’t we sleep off our hangovers, get a room in the tavern, and try again.” 

Darien gave an excited sound. “This is definitely something I’m looking forward to.” 

Kaia snuggled in close. “So am I. Now stop talking and go to sleep.” 

When they woke a few hours later, it was with a shared eagerness Kaia likened to receiving a coveted present. They restrained their excitement long enough to share a meal at the tavern (and a drink or two) before hurrying upstairs. The two fell into bed, laughing and tugging at the other’s clothing. Darien proved he wasn’t just boasting about his bedroom prowess. The things the man could do with his tongue were downright sinful. Kaia was no slouch either, for she had spent many a lonely night in the woods with a lover. 

The sun had gone down by the time they were spent. Kaia sat up in bed, enjoying a hearty bowl of stew and a mug of ale. Darien lay beside her, spread-eagled and panting. She smiled down at him, admiring his body in the firelight. 

“By all the gods,” he murmured, awe in his tone. “I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

Kaia chuckled as she dipped some bread into the stew. “I bet you say that to all the lovely ladies you sleep with,” she said as she took a bite.

Darien shook his head emphatically. “No, no. I mean, I do. Say things to other women, that is. But this…” He laughed, as if in disbelief. “What did you _do_ to me?” 

Kaia gave a satisfied chuckle. She set the bowl aside to stretch out alongside him. “I see I’ve given you something to remember me by,” she observed, trailing her fingers down his chest to his belly.

Darien’s eyes fluttered at the caress. He smiled like a pampered cat the longer she touched him. “Remember? You’re going to haunt me,” he replied in rough, passionate tones. He rolled onto his side to face her, his eyes gleaming despite his clear exhaustion. “I could bed every woman between here and Summerset, and none of them will compare. You’ve ruined me, Kaia.”

She sent him a wry grin. “Flattery now?” 

“Simply the truth, my lady,” Darien replied, gallant as ever. “Promise me we will do this when we meet again.”

“We do make a habit of that,” she agreed, smiling as she let her fingers roam lower. “Meeting again, that is.”

“Then it’s a promise?” Darien looked upon her with such hope it twisted her heart. 

Kaia took in the wonderful sight before her, the warmth and joy surrounding them. Meridia might take Darien away, but this moment was Kaia’s for all time.

“It’s a promise,” she said, and was rewarded with an eager kiss that clearly demonstrated Darien still had energy to spare.

The next day, Darien walked her to the edge of town. She had been about to ride off when he caught hold of her hand. It was such an unexpected, romantic gesture she felt her heart turn over. Darien had a warm, soft smile for her before wishing her a good journey. When she advised him to stay out of trouble, he replied with a merry laugh and a twinkle in his eye.

Kaia carried that smile with her, never once considering their promised reunion would not happen. For when their paths crossed again, fate finally caught up to Darien, and her world was the lesser without him. 

***

In the years following Darien’s death, Kaia committed herself to her Psijic studies. She made many friends, had a few lovers, and married a fellow Psijic. When he died, Kaia’s grief compelled her to revisit her homeland. 

She found much of Tamriel changed. Familiar towns had vanished, been renamed or rebuilt; the great family names long gone. Her exploits, which had been common knowledge at the time of her initiation, were relegated to bard’s tales now. It was odd at first, hearing an exaggerated version of true events. But this was the fate of all great battles. Remembered not for their accuracy, but the inspiration they provided. Given the positive reception from such songs, Kaia was glad the world would never forget the sacrifices she and her companions made.

One night, as she sat in a tavern in Riften, the bard played a song about the Golden Knight of Meridia. Kaia listened with a soft smile on her lips and a catch in her heart. Though decades had passed, not a day went by where she didn’t think of Darien. Where once her memories were tainted with regret and anger at fate, now she felt glad to have known him, to have fought beside him, to have loved him. It was all she could ask for.

Making a mental note to collect any books on his exploits, Kaia resumed eating her meal. It was then she glimpsed a man seated alone at a table across from hers. He seemed oblivious to the drink in his hand, for his attention was fixed on the bard. Then, during a lyric praising the Golden Knight’s humility, the man looked her way. There was moment where… _something_ passed between them before he took his mug in hand, stood, and approached her. 

Kaia drew in a small breath. Though a little older in the eyes and bearded, the man’s features were so reminiscent of Darien. Even the way he walked, the way he carried himself. No, she had to be projecting her thoughts onto him. Grief made her nostalgic, painfully aware of the hollow ache in her heart. 

“Pardon the intrusion,” the man said, giving her a little bow. “Might I sit with you?”

Kaia debated on refusing him. But the song seemed to cast a spell over this moment, over her, and she nodded. He settled into the chair across from her. His eyes lingered on her face, contemplative, searching. She told herself it was the bright blue facial tattoos marking her as a Psijic. 

She pulled a piece of bread apart and soaked it in the broth. “I haven’t heard this song before,” she said by way of conversation. A faint smile touched her lips. “He was quite the hero.”

The man’s expression brightened. “So you know of the Golden Knight.” 

Oh, yes. Kaia knew of the Golden Knight. She looked past him, her mind turning back to that fateful day. How unprepared she had been to say goodbye even though she expected it. That last, passionate kiss. 

Her brow furrowed. She kissed him? Odd she had not recalled doing so until now. 

At realizing the man still waited for an answer, Kaia shook off thoughts of the past. “I do,” she replied quietly. “I think if he was here now, he’d approve of the song.”

“And do you like it?” the man asked.

Puzzled by the hope hanging off each word, Kaia nodded. The man then broke into a broad smile so like Darien’s, her heart ached a little. 

“You don’t know how much it means to me to hear you say that.” 

“Why?” Kaia asked, smiling through the despair now clawing at her. “Have others not liked it?”

The man shook his head. “I wouldn’t care if they loved it or hated it,” he said, frank. “I…you see, I wrote this song for you.” 

A cold breeze blew in as the door opened, and the barkeep greeted the newcomers. Someone in the kitchen dropped a bottle, earning a swift rebuke. Footsteps echoed overhead as guests retired to their rooms.

Kaia stared, unsure if she heard him right. “What?” 

He looked down at his drink. “I don’t know how else to put this. It’s just…” He trailed off. Rubbed the back of his head. Then his gaze locked with hers, and Kaia felt as if the ground shifted under her feet. 

“I know you. More like, I’ve _always_ known you. You’re important to me, somehow. And the Golden Knight ties into it. Yes, it sounds crazy,” he said in swift tones while she sat in awestruck silence. “Sometimes even I don’t believe it. There’s so much about myself that doesn’t make sense.”

Kaia swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat. “Who are you?”

The man sighed. “My name is Aron. Only it’s never sounded _right_ to me,” he said, frowning. “Who was I to argue, though? The priests at Kilkreath said it was the only thing I knew. No parents, no memory of home, nothing. They took me in, cared for me. Tried to get me to become a priest but I didn’t want to spend my life worshiping a Daedra. So I left. I was in Glenumbra when I came across a book about the Golden Knight. Then the dreams started.”

All sights and sounds of the tavern receded, overwhelmed by the thundering echo of Kaia’s heartbeat in her ears. Her mouth went dry, yet her hand hung limp on her lap, unresponsive to her wish to take a healthy swig of her wine. 

“What kind of dreams?” She spoke in a small voice.

He held his head, as if trying to summon those dreams, or perhaps restrain them. “Dreams of light and dark, of you and I touching a sword. I hear someone say, ‘remember the Golden Knight,’ and I wake up.” Aron gave an exasperated sound. “It’s been like this for years. I didn’t know who you were you or what you had to do with the Golden Knight. But I couldn’t stop wanting to find you. I wrote the song, hoping that maybe you’d hear it and tell me what it all means. I was just about to give up when you finally appeared.” He lifted his gaze to hers. “You’re a Psijic. You must know something.” 

Kaia sat as if frozen. Each piece of Aron’s story tore down the walls around Darien’s memory, the belief- no, certainty- he died the moment he restored Dawnbreaker. She had mourned him, tucked him into her heart, and moved on. Now it seemed the past returned, brought to life a way she doubted any foreknowledge could have prepared her for. To be faced with this new reality proved too much to handle in her current state.

Mumbling a quick apology, Kaia collected her things and hurried out into the night, leaving behind the memories, the song he had written.

It wasn’t long before she heard footsteps in the snow behind her. 

“Wait,” Aron called. 

His hand brushed her shoulder. She felt the warmth of him even through her cloak. Kaia pulled away to distance herself from it. “I’m sorry, Aron,” she said as he put himself in her path. “I don’t have any answers for you. Your future is your own to make.”

“I’m not asking about my future,” he said in rough tones, holding out his hand to prevent her from stepping around him. “I’m asking about who we are to each other.” He reached for her, thought better of it. His hand shook as he slowly lowered it. “Please,” he murmured. “Help me understand.”

Standing before her, snowdrops clinging to his hair and clothes, looking upon her with those eyes, Kaia felt her resolve wavering. But her heartache intensified, her throat tightened, and she shook her head. 

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, then fled before her tears betrayed her. 

***

Kaia burst through her front door, whirling round to close it against the gusts of wind and snow following her inside. She remained there for a moment, brow pressed to the wood, her eyes closed. Her heart still thudded in her chest, seemingly in sync with the flood of memories brought about by the encounter. It had been many, many years since she felt this raw emotion. Almost instantly she was drawn back to those days after Darien’s sacrifice, when she spent more time with a bottle in her hand than food. She knew, without ever having looked in a mirror, no one would recognize her for her previous triumphs. To them, she was just another poor sod down on her luck.

Kaia moved away from the door as if she were a zombie, dropping her sack without caring where it fell on her way to the mini bar, and the wine supply on the shelf. Tears veiled her vision while she wrenched the cork free. A glimmer of light drew her attention. Her heart dropped into the bottom of her stomach. 

_No. Not now. Please…_

But it was too late. In her current emotional state, her connection with the element of time brought forth a vision of her past. The air behind the bar twisted, drew apart like a curtain to show her a vision of herself and Darien, her hand resting upon the hilt of his sword as she leaned in to kiss him. The way he gripped the back of her head impacted her the same now as it did then, so long ago. For in that moment, Kaia knew the exquisite pain of loving and losing him. Of knowing he felt the same.

Kaia gestured. The tear resealed itself, and the space behind the bar was a wall once more. Shaken, Kaia took the bottle on the way to the bed. There, she proceeded to drown out her memories. But after a hundred years of peaceful agreement, they resisted all attempts. Left her subjected to emotion so volatile, she started questioning herself: had she truly let Darien go? Loved her husband? Or was it all a desperate need to live the life she wished Darien had? The life _they_ could have had. She cried, she raged, she cursed fate, she threw the empty bottle into the hearth before collapsing, exhausted.

An hour passed, or maybe another hundred years, by the time Kaia stirred. She stared, bleary-eyed, into the distance, debating on whether she should just go back to sleep, when a soft glow drew her attention. Her bag lay where she left it, the flap open to expose a book amidst the scrolls she’d collected. Confusion swiftly turned to understanding, sobering her faster than any potion. She didn’t recall taking the book with her. It had remained on a shelf back in her quarters, a little reminder of their time together. 

Suddenly angry, Kaia slid off the bed, grabbed the book, and turned as if to throw it into the hearth. Froze at the warmth emanating from it, so like the touch of a hand. It stilled her movements, her frantic thoughts. A familiar calm settled over her. Where had she felt this before? She was almost certain it was the same as the day she unleashed Meridia’s light in Coldharbour.

Kaia laid her hand on the cover. Something seemed to whisper for her to open it. She hesitated. After having read it that first time, she refused to subject herself to it again. But the whispering compulsion grew stronger. Kaia turned to the first page before she had a chance to stop.

_Never trust the Daedra._

Disappointment and frustration echoed in Darien’s words. She blinked back a few tears over the emotion behind the passages reserved for friends, and for her. But the words had changed from what she recalled. Kaia stiffened, her heart pounding.

 _I know what we meant to each other. Even if we never said it out loud, we knew. And now all we have are memories._

_This can’t be it._

The passage ended abruptly. Kaia stared at the page, wide-eyed and breathing hard. No heartfelt message for readers about holding onto loved ones. No quiet departure into the hearts and memories of those who knew him best. These were not the last words of a man resigned to his fate.

Kaia recalled how Darien always went his own way. Succeeded in communicating with her not once, but twice, from Meridia’s own realm. There wasn’t a power in the world, be it a superior officer, a Daedric Prince, or even fate, that commanded him. 

Her gaze drifted to that last, telling phrase. Recalled, quite suddenly, the look in his eyes just after they kissed. Determination, and a promise. 

Had a he found a way…? 

No, impossible. The dead stayed dead. Even spirits bound to this plane found a way to pass on. 

But how else to explain Aron’s story? The prophetic dreams, of his knowing of her? The significance of the Golden Knight?

Her palm warmed, then tingled. Surprised, Kaia snatched her hand away. Watched, wide-eyed, as a phrase appeared in luminous lettering on the opposite page: _Don’t worry, my love. We will find each other again._

The same promise he made to her at the Doomcrag. When he had been oblivious to his fate, and she was painfully aware of it.

Emotion surged within her. “You fool,” she said in a choked voice, not knowing if the words were for her or him, clutched the book to her chest, and wept.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Kaia struggles with the incredulity of Darien's return, Aron seeks her out.

Kaia spent the next few weeks doing everything she could to avoid thinking about Darien. Yet, as before, he refused to leave her be. For no matter how weary she felt at the end of the day, Darien crept back into her dreams. The memory of Aron’s quiet plea for her to help him haunted her waking moments. This combined assault on her heart and mind made her realize she couldn’t return to Artaeum until she spoke with Aron. He deserved to know the truth. She needed to be free of his memory. 

After mustering the mental and emotional strength needed to face him, Kaia realized something else: she didn’t know where he lived. Without her scrying equipment, she could not pinpoint his location. So she took a chance and went to Kilkreath. Coming up the hill, seeing the giant statue of Meridia with arms elevated as if to cup the sun, Kaia couldn’t help but frown. Meridia may have been instrumental in aiding them in stopping the Planemeld, but Kaia harbored no love for the Radiant Lady. 

A priest tending the shrine saw her approach. “Ah, what brings a Psijic to our temple?” the woman asked, inclining her head.

“I’m looking for Dar-for Aron,” Kaia quickly corrected herself. 

The priest’s brows lifted. “What business do you have with him?”

Kaia thought fast. “We met at a tavern in Riften,” she said with a smile. “He said he wrote songs. A member of our Order collects and documents all bard songs.”

At this, the priest relaxed. “To have attracted the Psijic Order’s notice is as fine an endorsement as there is,” she said approvingly. “Unfortunately, Aron isn’t here, but all his works are in our library. You’re welcome to browse. I can take you there.”

Kaia hid her disappointment over his not being here. All she wanted was to put this encounter behind her. But she may as well record his songs. There was no telling when she would be back in Tamriel. She thanked the priest and followed the other woman inside. The temple hadn’t changed much in the last hundred years, though there seemed to be fewer priests. 

“Most of us are traveling or at home during the winter,” the priest explained, leading Kaia past a quiet corner where a man knelt in prayer. “Aron prefers to be here in the warmer months when there are more of us. He says it helps his compositions better.” 

Kaia thought of Darien, who enjoyed the company of friends and with an ale in hand, distressed at the concept of being alone. Her heart broke for what happened to him all over again. “An audience does help,” Kaia agreed. “Especially if you’re writing songs.”

“So he likes to tell us.” The priest smiled with fondness. “We lament Aron chose not to follow the Radiant Lady. He has a light about him that soothes and inspires.”

This observation only added another layer to the truth surrounding Aron’s identity. Kaia kept her voice even as she replied, “Maybe that’s why he chose not to stay. Music is one of the best ways to help others.”

“That is true. And Aron is generous to a fault when it comes to the upkeep of the temple. Ah, here we are.” The priest brought Kaia into a small, well-lit room lined with bookcases. “Take all the time you need. If you stay past midday, you may join us for supper.”

Kaia thanked her with a smile. The priest blessed her and departed, closing the door behind her.

Alone, Kaia closed her eyes, let the familiar scent of old books comfort her. As a girl, she had balked at more scholarly pursuits. Her preferred method of learning had been the forest around her home, then in Valenwood for her extended training as a Warden. Her preferred companions had been the animals, not words written by men or mer long dead. That she was brought here by the words of a dead man was not lost on her.

Kaia spent the next few hours in search of Aron’s writings. As nearly all the books lacked labels, she thumbed through several texts centering on early Daedric worship and how Meridia first appeared to her priests. She’d gleaned more about Meridia than she needed to by the time she found Aron’s works. The collection was small but offered an interesting glimpse into his mind. Most of his compositions seemed incomplete, as if his train of thought simply stopped. A few, more personal passages made their way into these books, demonstrating frustration, joy, and eagerness. Then there was one that made her heart skip a beat.

_I dreamed of her again. I’m starting to think she’s some vision from Vaermina. All she does is torment me. But what a beautiful nightmare she is. Hmm. Should hold onto that. Might make a good song._

Kaia smiled softly, amused by Aron’s words. In this, she understood his meaning. For Darien certainly qualified.

She returned the book to the shelf, her fingers idly resting on the spine. Cast her gaze around the small library. Remorse overcame her. She had come here with the hope to free herself from heartache, not once giving any thought to the consequences such revelations would have on Aron. He may potentially carry Darien’s memories, but Aron’s life was not Darien’s. Could she in good conscience burden him with this knowledge?

No. It must be his choice.

Sitting down, Kaia took up a pen, dipped the nib in an inkwell and drew a piece of paper from a nearby pile.

_Aron,_

_You asked me to help you understand your dreams. My advice to you is this: forget them. Forget me. Find love. Drink. Write more songs. Live your life for you._

_But if you still wish to know, then come to my home in Riften. I will keep nothing back._

_Kaia_

Kaia pocketed the note, gathered her things and left the library behind. The priests gathering for supper smiled as Kaia joined them. Afterward a priest escorted her to the road, nodded at Kaia’s request Aron receive her note. Kaia departed with the priest’s blessing, part of her hoping Aron chose to forget the past and live in the present, not just for his sake, but hers. The idea of meeting, and possibly losing, Darien again was just too much to bear. 

***

Though Kaia busied herself upon her return, she anticipated a knock on her door at any moment. This led to her being constantly alert. But as the weeks passed into months, the expectation faded. Optimism over the wisdom of Aron’s choice helped Kaia move forward. She pursued leads on artifacts and documents that had been her husband’s specialty. Working on them gave her a sense of peace, of lasting connection. The day she completed the list of Ayleid mythological texts, she toasted his memory. 

Kaia had been in Skyrim for six months before she decided it was time to return to Artaeum. The people of Riften had grown so accustomed to having a Psijic in their midst, they were sad to hear of her departure. The staff at her favorite tavern gave her a rousing send-off, complete with a drunken brawl that cost the owner a few tables and chairs. Later everyone, including the brawlers, sang popular Nordic tales long well into the night.

Kaia headed home some hours later, pleasantly drunk and happy. The tavern owner had offered a room for her to sober up in but Kaia, like all drunkards convinced of their own capability, declined. So she stumbled along the pathway, humming a few bars of a song. Its transition from a tale of Ysgramor to the Golden Knight was as natural as breathing. Her surroundings shifted and changed in response to the powerful emotion associated with these memories. She watched them come alive with the carefree abandon of the inebriated. 

She and Valsirenn braving Mephala’s realm to rescue him. The way his face lit up when Kaia said she hadn’t stopped looking for him. That not-so-subtle comment about how they’d celebrate saving the world. The unexpected but welcome embrace. Was Darien always that short? Look how she had to bend over to hug him! 

Oh, there he goes again, flirting with every woman he interacted with. What a charmer he was. How Darien had laughed when she told him he was upsetting the natural order of things. His new role as Meridia’s champion had not changed him one bit. 

Kaia extended a hand for the ghostly images passing her by. They made quite a pair, united in thought and deed whether they had a mug of ale or a weapon in hand. There could never be another man like Darien. 

But then a flash of golden light appeared, coalesced into a figure. Darien stood before her, his expression fond. In her current state, Kaia didn’t care if he was real or not. She had never been able to resist him. 

“Drinking without me?” He tsked. 

Kaia’s laugh was part snort, part hiccup. She swayed on her feet. “Well,” she replied in a sleepy drawl. “Can’t spend the rest of my life waiting for you.” 

Darien laughed softly. Kaia managed a small smile before her eyes closed and her body teetered forward. She had the impression she was falling, falling, then caught against a warm chest. Her smile stayed on her lips long after she had passed out.

*** 

The distant sound of birdsong greeted Kaia when she woke the next morning. She blinked up at the ceiling, confused over how she got home, only to groan at the intense pounding in her head. She dug her palms into her eyes, as if to rub the pain away. Might have taken a little too much last night, she thought with a grimace. Now she had to wait to sober up before she could open a portal back to Artaeum.

Movement in the room drew her attention. Kaia lowered her hands, squinted into the distance. A man stood before the bar, his features blurred due to the early morning light shining through the window behind her. Several bottles were arranged on the counter. The echo of a cork being pulled suggested Kaia’s mysterious guest was helping himself to her stash. But the potent scent of medicine destroyed that theory. Struggling to her elbows, Kaia arched her neck past the stack of books on a table.

“Hey,” she said in groggy tones. “How did you get into my house?”

The man finished pouring a mixture into a glass. “You let me in. Well, you bumped into the door and nudged it open,” he amended. “I couldn’t just leave you on the floor.”

The familiar tone had Kaia sit up straighter. “…Aron?” she said, and as he turned, his features sharpened into focus. So too did the memory of her ‘talking’ to Darien’s specter last night. Realizing it may have been Aron put color into her cheeks. If only creating a portal didn’t require such intense focus. She would have gladly vanished in the wake of such a memory. 

Aron approached her, his gaze never leaving hers. Handed over the glass with a sympathetic smile. “I know you have a lot of questions,” he said. “Drink this first. I’ll get a bath ready for you. Trust me, it’ll help sober you up.”

Kaia blinked at him. Found she lacked the words to counter his suggestion, let alone ask about what she had said last night, so she meekly accepted the glass and nodded. 

His hand moved, seemingly of its own volition, toward her cheek. Kaia’s heart pounded. But he withdrew his hand at the last moment. Summoning a small smile for her, he then headed outside. 

Kaia watched him, idly sipping at the bitter tonic, as he dragged a wooden tub into the house, filled it with water warmed over the fire. He even put up a partition for privacy. Kept his gaze averted while she stripped and sank into the tub. She stared at the ripples around her upright knees, listening to Aron prepare a meal. He even started humming. Kaia recognized it as a popular song from High Rock. His voice- and presence- soothed her in a way no potion ever could. It was such a simple, domestic scene she almost forgot she had hoped he would abandon his quest to learn the truth. 

“How are you feeling now?” Aron asked, drawing Kaia from her thoughts. “Headache gone?”

“Yes,” Kaia said, surprised. The lingering effects of the mead seemed to vanish as she lounged in the tub. “What was that drink you gave me?”

“A remedy an old skald I knew swore by. Said mead was his muse, and he only ever composed songs while drunk.” Kaia heard the smile in Aron’s voice. “He had several tonics made up whenever we traveled.”

The image of a drunken skald able to focus enough to write brought a small, amused smile to Kaia’s lips. “Is something in the bathwater too?”

At this, Aron chuckled. “No. He just liked to take hot baths after a long night of drinking. I thought you’d appreciate the same.”

Kaia lounged in the bath until the scent of simmering food lured her out. After dressing in her Psijic robes, she joined Aron by the hearth. He had just turned to present her with a bowl of stew, and his smile went right to her heart. Damn him for making her miss Darien all over again. 

Kaia accepted the bowl as she took a seat at the small table. Aron, his own bowl in hand, settled into the chair opposite her. They sat in silence, bowls of stew steaming between them, seemingly at a loss of what to do or say. 

Unable to stall any longer, Kaia gave a small sigh. “I appreciate you looking after me this morning,” she said. “But we both know it’s not why you’re here.”

At this, Aron’s cheeks turned crimson, and he bowed his head. “It was hard at first. I’d found you, but then you were just…gone.” The pain in his voice had Kaia inwardly wince. Aron lifted his gaze to hers and he nodded. “I took your advice. Things seemed fine. Better, if I’m being honest. I wrote more songs, made some extra coin. I met another bard. She and I really connected. Heh, she even recognized the _Tale of the Golden Knight_ as my work before I told her.”

“But?” Kaia said softly, sensing the ending to this. It had been the same for her for years before she met and married her husband. 

Aron dipped his spoon into his stew, fished up a piece of meat he let drop back into the broth. “You were always in the back of mind. I think she knew there was someone else. She was good at sensing things like that.”

“Aron…” 

“Please, hear me out,” he said, staying any further protest. He met her gaze, his face open and earnest. “All I want are answers. You’re the only one who can give them to me. And you said you would hold nothing back. So here I am.” 

Kaia sat back in her chair. Felt the weight of the moment settle on her shoulders. “And after I tell you?” she asked softly.

“I’ll go.”

Ignoring the flutter of disappointment at his readiness to follow her advice, Kaia moved the bowl aside so she could rest her hands on the table. “All right. But know this,” she said, holding his gaze with her own. “What I’m about to tell you is not easy for me. All I ask is you never speak of this to anyone.”

“You have my word,” he said softly.

Kaia studied him for a moment, experienced true regret at their meeting. Had he not been who he was, Kaia believed they could have shared a lasting friendship, maybe more. She drew a deep breath, then told her story.

It was more difficult than she expected. Never had she spoken of her and Darien aloud. He had remained safely hidden in her heart for a century. To talk of him to someone who bore such a strong resemblance, as well as potentially containing his memories, did not help. She didn’t remember when they left the table to sit on her bed, or when he pulled her into his arms. Kaia did not question it. It just felt so good to be held. She needed this comfort badly. 

When it was over, Kaia sagged against him, weak from the telling, her emotions raw. Neither spoke. What to say to such an incredible tale? How does someone respond to knowing their memories and thoughts might not be their own? To meeting someone they loved and lost, only to have them walk back into your life? Kaia was living it now and still didn’t know how to process it. Worse, Aron had been dragged into it against his will. Kaia had the absurd need to apologize for interrupting Aron’s life like this. She sat up to speak, but his next words stilled her movements.

“I…I remember,” Aron murmured, his voice fraught with emotion. “A woman, an orc. They were close friends of mine. A man in silver armor. He- he was my father. I remember meeting you. Fighting beside you, going to those other places. The last time I saw you. I—gods,” he broke off, his face paling. For an instant, Kaia glimpsed Darien’s face pass over his, as if it were a mask that didn’t quite fit. “Light. So much _light_. He-I-did something…”

At sensing Aron’s descent into panic, Kaia took him by the shoulders. “I know what you just heard is confusing,” she said, speaking swiftly. “But please, listen to me. You’re not him. What happened to him didn’t happen to you. You’re Aron.” 

A brief pause. Aron looked upon her with a pained expression. “Am I?” he said in just above a whisper. “All my life, I felt like part of me was missing. Now it all makes sense. I know when you look at me, you see me for who I really am.” 

Stricken at the accuracy of his observation, Kaia dropped her gaze. Her hands slid from his shoulders. Aron caught her hand in his. Held it against his heart. The brief contact shifted something within her, made her breath quicken and heart race. Compelled her to look up. Darien’s face reappeared over Aron’s, those eyes pleading with her. It was too much. 

Kaia pulled away and stood with her back to him, hugging herself against the conflicting emotions within. Aron’s heavy breathing echoed behind her, indicating his own struggle. 

“We’re not doing this. I’m not doing this,” she said, her voice breaking. She squared her shoulders, drew a steadying breath. “I’ve told you everything. Please, I need you to go.”

“Kaia…” 

The pain in his voice dragged at her heart, but she could not waver. “No, Aron. It isn’t right.”

“Then what is?” The frustration in Aron’s voice had her turn. His hands were balled into fists at his sides, his features flushed with passionate anger. “Why would I remember these things if I wasn’t able to do _something_ about it?” He rose to his feet, had her hands in his before she could react. “I don’t know how it all happened, only that it did and we found each other again.” Hope shone in his eyes. “We can start over.” 

She froze for a moment. “Start over?” she repeated in a low murmur. Then angry tears filled her eyes and she jerked her hands free. “Don’t you understand? It’s been a hundred years for me. A hundred years! There is no ‘starting over’,” she said in rough tones. “I loved Darien. I watched him die. I let him go.” 

Abruptly, he laid his hands on her shoulders, the heat of his touch burning a path through her body and into her heart. His eyes blazed: intense, determined.

“But I couldn’t let _you_ go,” Aron cried in his voice, and Darien’s. It echoed in the room with the power of a thunderclap. 

A profound silence followed. Left them staring at one another. Kaia, pale-faced from shock, Aron’s one of revelation. A flash of light had them turn, as one, to the bookcase. The glowing volume beckoned. 

Slowly, as if in a daze, Aron released Kaia’s hands to approach the bookcase. Paralyzed by the incredulity of the moment, Kaia could only watch as Aron drew the book from the shelf and opened it. Light burst forth, swirling around Aron. It coalesced into a shimmering figure that appeared to merge with Aron’s body. Then the light faded, Aron dropped to his knees, and the book was just a book again.

The world was silenced by the deafening echo of Kaia’s heartbeat in her ears. Aron remained where he was, slumped over, eerily still. Kaia approached him with caution. Each step brought her closer to a truth she saw yet dared not acknowledge. Her hand had just settled upon his shoulder when he stirred. Lifting his head, he turned his face toward hers. His expression was that of someone who had been asleep for a long, long time. Yet that half smile, those eyes…

Impossible. It couldn’t be. 

But it was.

Darien smiled up at her as he swayed in place. Then his eyes fluttered closed and he pitched forward. 

Kaia stared down at him in stunned silence. Then she did the only thing that made sense in response to such an event: she stepped over the body, grabbed a bottle of wine, yanked out the cork, and took a long, long swig.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summoned by Meridia herself, Kaia takes Darien to Kilkreath to learn of their fate.

Kaia sat behind the bar, working on her second bottle of wine, unable to look at the man laid out on the floor. It took a half hour before she did, and another twenty minutes until she summoned the will to emerge from her hiding place. After all, she couldn’t just ignore him. With a heavy sigh, she set the bottle aside and approached his body.

Moving him took longer than usual thanks to how uncoordinated she was; she let loose more than a few grumbled curses but soon had him arranged on the bed. She stepped back to observe him, a little unsteady on her feet. Still unable to believe he had arrived as Aron, and now lay there as Darien. He hadn’t changed physically yet Kaia detected a change had occurred. But if Darien inhabited that body now, what happened to Aron? Was he dead? In between realities? Did he take Darien’s place in the Colored Rooms?

No, she would only drive herself mad with such speculation. Best to wait until he woke up. As to when that would be, Kaia did not know. All she did know was he had returned to her, and she didn’t know how to process it. Her emotions too strained to be in the same room as him, she left the house, but not before grabbing the bottle of wine on her way out.

Kaia sat on the small stone bench under a tree, content to simply drink the hours away. The setting sun looked like a splotch of orange paint against a reddening sky, the clouds like brush strokes. These drunken observations were soon interrupted by a shimmer in the air. A portal soon appeared, revealing a pale, ghostly figure on the other side.

“Kaia? I expected you back hours ago. Oh. Oh dear,” Valsirenn said, evidently noticing the bottle in Kaia’s hand, the way she slumped in place. “Has something happened?” 

Though Valsirenn’s duties as Ritemaster often kept her busy, it had not prevented the two of them from establishing a close friendship. Of all the Psijics on Artaeum, Kaia trusted her the most. And Val was no stranger to the unusual, or heartache. 

“You could say that,” Kaia murmured. She lifted the bottle to her lips, made a face at realizing it was empty. She looked over at Valsirenn, who watched her with concern. “What do you know about reincarnation?”

At this, curiosity entered Valsirenn’s eyes. “I’ve come across it mentioned in old texts,” she said. “Why do you ask? Have you found something?” 

Kaia nodded slowly. “You remember Darien?”

“The Golden Knight? Of course. I recall you two were close. You weren’t yourself after the Crystal Tower.” Her eyes widened. “Kaia, are you saying…?”

“I don’t know what I’m saying,” Kaia groaned. For the second time today, she poured her heart out. Like Aron, Valsirenn listened in silence, concern and sympathy in her eyes. 

“I can see why this situation has upset you so,” Valsirenn said after Kaia finished her story. “And you say he has not regained consciousness?”

“Not yet.” Kaia tapped a finger along the neck of the wine bottle. “I look at him, and he’s Aron and Darien at the same time. I’m not sure what’s happening to him.”

Valsirenn held her chin. “Perhaps you should bring him here. We may need to consider the implications of his rebirth.”

While Kaia understood why Valsirenn would go that route, she couldn’t in good conscience turn Darien over to her fellow Psijics as if he were some unique item to be studied. “Let me do it,” she said. When it looked like Valsirenn would argue, Kaia held up her hand. “Please, Val. I need time with him.”

Valsirenn’s features softened at the pain in Kaia’s voice. “All right. But I suggest you tread carefully. We knew Darien as Meridia’s vessel. There is no telling if she knows of this or how she will react. Daedric Princes are notoriously unpredictable. Also,” Valsirenn said, her expression turning sorrowful. “You must consider the possibility of two souls inhabiting that body. You may be faced with a difficult choice.”

Realization turned Kaia’s blood to ice. She had been so preoccupied with the impossibility of Darien’s return, she forgot all about the poor soul-melded mage she met in Coldharbour. The decision over who should live and who should die had haunted her for years. 

“I do not envy you the task ahead,” Valsirenn said, drawing Kaia from her dark thoughts. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m here for you.”

The warmth in Valsirenn’s words defrosted some of the fear in Kaia’s heart. “That means a lot to me. I’ll contact you when…well, when I’ve settled everything.”

Valsirenn responded with a compassionate smile. She swept the air with her hands, and the portal closed. 

Kaia lingered long enough to watch the sun disappear below the horizon before heading back inside. It was going to be a long night.

***

Darien still lay insensible when Kaia returned. She let him be for the moment. What lay ahead required a clear mind for this situation. Luckily, she came across another bottle of the mixture Aron made. Had he crafted a second bottle knowing she’d need it, or was it habit from when he traveled with his skald friend? Either way, Kaia was grateful. 

Her stomach let out a rumble so loud she jumped. It served as a stark reminder she had not eaten since her going-away party at the tavern. Was that only last night? Kaia felt it was another lifetime ago. 

She set the stew pot over the fire, keenly aware of Darien in her peripheral. His expression turned almost giddy, and he made some sleepy, nonsensical murmur that had her chuckle softly. 

“Do I even need to ask what kind of dream you’re having?” she commented, casting a small, wry smile over her shoulder. 

Darien gave a garbled mumble in response. Kaia was about to turn away when his expression changed once more. Pale-faced, his breath catching in his throat, he opened his eyes, turned an unfocused gaze her way. 

“Hello? Is someone there?” He extended a trembling hand toward her. “Please, help me…” 

Kaia didn’t stop to think. She rushed to his side, had his hand in hers. Their fingers laced together before he squeezed her hand. The color returned to his cheeks, and a tiny, grateful smile touched his lips.

“Kaia…” Darien breathed her name as if it were the most reverent of prayers. It impacted Kaia with the force of a physical blow. “You found me again…”

Kaia’s only response was a low, pained sound. A hundred years to gird herself against his loss, and all her convictions crumbled like dust. The walls around her heart were no sturdier than paper. As he drifted back into dreams, all the things she wanted to say to him tumbled forth.

“I would have followed you into the Colored Rooms,” she said in a strangled whisper. “You don’t know how hard it was for me to lose you.” A small sob burst forth, and Kaia bent her head to press a kiss to Darien’s knuckles. “I knew you were going to die. I knew,” she repeated, her heart twisting with renewed pain at the helplessness that had settled inside her for so long. “It killed me to stand there and do nothing while you…” 

A long moment passed. She lifted her head to gaze upon him, drew in a shuddering breath. “But as hard as it was, I never regretted being by your side. I’ve never known a more courageous, funny, dedicated, and infuriating man,” she added, smiling through her tears. As she spoke, images manifested all around them, illustrating each scenario she referenced. Kaia’s attention drifted to these visions, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. These memories, untouched by time, were as sharp as ever. Smiling again, Kaia looked upon Darien once more.

And found him staring directly at her. 

Shocked, Kaia could do nothing but stare back as the visions dissipated. The air grew heavy with the presence of something greater than herself. Though he had not changed physically, Kaia knew she no longer looked upon Darien. 

“Hero of Coldharbour.” Meridia’s voice rang in the air like tinkling bells, ethereal, all-powerful. “Bring my vessel to Kilkreath. We will speak more.”

With that, Darien’s eyes fluttered closed, and the air returned to normal.

Kaia stood there, stunned for the moment, Darien’s hand still in hers. Then it dawned on her: she had been essentially summoned by the one Daedric Prince she hoped never to see again. 

“See what I mean?” she murmured to Darien, who slept on, blissfully unaware of the hassle said summons caused. “Infuriating.” 

She watched him for a few moments more, set his hand on the bed with a sigh, and stepped outside to contact Valsirenn.

***

Traveling to Kilkreath presented more than its fair share of challenges, notably the need for a wagon, bedding, and a horse. Kaia, having expected to be back in Artaeum by now, had none of those. So she turned to the citizens of Riften for assistance. They were curious over her requests, to which Kaia responded with a carefree comment about wanting to collect more antiquities for the Order. She waited until nightfall to depart, for she had bundled Darien in so many blankets, any onlookers might think she had taken a sudden- and disturbing- interest in necromancy. 

Kaia sat at the head of the wagon, whistling to the horse as she flicked the reins. Given that she was essentially transporting a Daedric Prince’s formerly dead vessel to a shrine, Kaia didn’t see much of a difference. 

The journey overland took about three days. As Kaia crested the hill leading to Kilkreath, a few priests out for a walk hailed her. Kaia anticipated dozens of questions over why Aron -Darien- was laid out in the wagon. Yet as she prepared to recite the explanation she’d practiced, the priest standing beside the wagon touched her wrist.

“We have been waiting for you,” was all she said.

After turning Darien over to the healers, Kaia followed the priest inside for a much-needed bath and warm meal. As accommodating as the priests were, Kaia could not shake the sense she was being primed for an encounter she was not going to like.

Later that night, a priest escorted Kaia to the large statue of Meridia outside the temple. The crystal set between two smaller figurines glowed as brightly as the sun. Someone had arranged candles around the base, their tiny flames winking in the wind. The effect was meant to inspire warmth, but all Kaia felt was the cool touch of a winter sun. She nodded her thanks to the priest, then turned her gaze upward.

The priest’s footfalls had just faded when the statue flashed. A beam of light struck the crystal, grew outward until Meridia herself stood before Kaia. The area around them shifted, and the familiar backdrop of western Skyrim disappeared. A sky ablaze with white light took its place, figures clad in gold manifested all around. But it was not being transported to the Colored Rooms that struck Kaia. It was the look in Meridia’s eyes, as if she were a weary parent. 

“It would seem I have you to thank for this,” Meridia said. Though the prince’s voice was as melodious as ever, Kaia thought she detected a hint of…frustration. 

Kaia leveled her gaze on the Radiant Lady. “I didn’t summon him, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Meridia folded her hands before her, gave an almost imperceptible sigh. “Voluntarily, no. Yet your influence remains.” She turned away, gestured Kaia follow. “When Darien returned here, I expected him to rescind that which I gave him. He did not. He held on to his memories, his earthly desires. He even attempted to bargain with me. Me, as if I were the prince of schemes,” Meridia said with disdain. 

Kaia could not restrain the small, amused smile at Darien making a merry nuisance of himself but schooled her features as Meridia continued.

“Wisdom prevailed, and he agreed to return to the light. I had thought the matter done. Until now.”

A pair of floating figures appeared before them then, their eyes closed, faces blank. Seeing Darien and Aron side by side like this, as similar as twins, was jarring, to say the least. 

“Do you know how this happened?” Kaia asked softly, unable to look away.

“I believe I do,” Meridia said. “Darien’s last request was to look upon the mortal world. By doing so, he created a conduit. Something that contained a trace of himself.” When Kaia sent her a swift look, Meridia made a small sound of acknowledgement. “Then you know what I am referring to. How he hid this from me is…troubling,” she admitted with some difficulty. “What I do not understand is why he resorted to such methods.”

Kaia’s gaze lingered on Darien, reckless, courageous, Darien, who had defied the odds to bring them together again. A rush of admiration came over her, even as she wanted to shake some sense into him. 

“It sounds like he wasn’t ready to give up on having a life of his own,” she observed with a small smile.

“Be that as it may, he should not have acted against his prescribed fate,” Meridia replied, unmoved. She extended her hands hand toward the pair. Aron’s form dissolved into a small sphere of light, as did Darien’s. Turning to Kaia, the orbs floating over each hand, Meridia met her eyes. Kaia’s smile died under the weight of that gaze.

“Darien’s willfulness interfered with Aron’s creation,” Meridia said, her voice ringing clear. “Doing so has intertwined their souls. Neither can live in this incomplete state.”

A wave of cold fear broke over Kaia. She took a step back from those orbs, what they represented. “No,” she said in rough tones. “I won’t make this choice.”

“You will.” Meridia held out her hands, where both orbs shimmered. “For you are why he chose this alternate path. You must be the one to set him on the true path so Aron may be born as he should be.” 

Kaia sent the prince a sharp look. Fear turned to anger at this expectation thrust upon her. Yet just as she readied to give Meridia a few choice words, the orb floating over the prince’s left hand flashed.

“Don’t ask this of her, my lady.” Aron’s voice echoed between them, strong and sure. “Kaia lived her life as she was meant to.”

A flicker of surprise passed over Meridia’s features. “Be still, Aron,” she said, never taking her eyes from Kaia. “I do this to grant you the life you were denied.”

“But what about Darien’s life?” Aron countered. “You had promised to set him free if he did your bidding. He did as you asked. You owe this to your champion.”

A long silence followed. Something like irritation flashed in Meridia’s eyes. Kaia stared at the orb representing Aron’s soul, impressed by not only his words, but his courage at standing up to the Radiant Lady on behalf of a man he didn’t know.

“Are you sure this is the choice you wish to make?” Meridia asked after a moment. “For once made, it cannot be undone. You will become one with my light. All that you are will be gone.”

The absolution in Meridia’s tone brought another silence. Kaia’s gaze rested upon Aron’s soul, her expression torn. While she appreciated his willingness to give up his life for another, she couldn’t stop thinking about the priests at Kilkreath. How much they loved and supported Aron. Could she, in good conscience, stand by and let him sacrifice himself? Kaia had been helpless once before. She didn’t want to experience it again.

“Aron,” she said, emotion thickening her voice. “You don’t have to do this…”

Then, in a response that surprised both Kaia and Meridia, the orb transformed into a human spirit. Kaia felt her heart skip a beat as a small smile touched Aron’s pale, glowing features.

“I know what you’re going to say, Kaia. And you might be right. Maybe I should live my life the way I’m supposed to. But…” He closed the distance between them, took her hands in his. Warmth from their contact put tears in her eyes. “I heard what you said to Darien. I couldn’t forgive myself if I denied you the chance to be with him again. Not after he fought so hard to come back to you.”

Kaia, touched by the sincerity in Aron’s voice, the gentle way he held her hands, smiled through her tears and nodded. “Is there anything you want me to tell the priests?”

Gratitude shone in Aron’s eyes at her question. “Tell them I’m safely returned to the light. There’s also a lockbox at the bank in Solitude. If you can get it and give it to them, I’d be grateful.”

“I will,” Kaia promised, squeezing Aron’s hands. “And thank you. For everything.”

“No.” Aron smiled as he shook his head. “Thank you.”

Farewell hung in the air between them. Powerful emotions gripped Kaia, prompting her to lean in to press a soft kiss to Aron’s cheek. He made a small sound at the gesture, then caught her against him in a firm embrace. Kaia held fast to him. She would never forget this moment.

Meridia stepped forward. “It is time,” she said as Kaia and Aron drew apart, their faces shining with tears. Aron nodded to her, gazed upon Kaia for another moment, then released her hands. Meridia touched his shoulder. Aron smiled as wisps of light drifted away from his body, slowly, until he faded from sight. 

Kaia did not have time to be sad long, for the light of Aron’s body now merged with the orb above Meridia’s right hand. Then, in a brilliant flash, Darien appeared before them, his eyes closed and head bowed. Seeing him, knowing he was no figment of her imagination, caused Kaia’s heart to beat fast. She took a step forward.

Meridia held up her hand. “I need a moment alone to speak with my vessel,” she said, Kaia hearing traces of a disapproving parent in the prince’s tone. She gestured toward Kaia with an elegant motion. “Go with the light, Hero of Coldharbour.”

With that, the area around Kaia shimmered. She gave a sharp gasp, as if waking from a dream, before she found herself beneath familiar skies, the statue of Meridia looming over her, the crystal at its base returned to its normal sheen. Kaia lifted her gaze to the statue, both thankful for what the prince did and glad she wouldn’t have to see her anytime soon. But she still took a moment to pray for Aron’s soul. Maybe one day they’d meet up again.

Muffled voices echoed from the temple entrance, bringing her back to the present. A rush of excitement and anticipation surged through Kaia. She hurried inside, past the few priests who stood by the doorway, their hushed voices at her back as she went for the room the healers had taken Darien. But when Kaia entered, she found Darien still lying on the bed, the sheets tucked up to his chin, the healer gone. Believing Meridia had not yet released Darien to this realm, Kaia took it upon herself to fetch some ale. She had a feeling Darien would need a cup, or two or three. However, when she returned, she found the bed empty. Curious, Kaia ducked into the side room, where the scent of medicinal herbs made her recall the potion Aron had mixed for her. A faint smile touched her lips before the sound of a footstep at her back had her draw in a breath.

Slowly, she turned.

Darien stood there, wearing nothing but a pair of pants and an almost cheeky grin on his face. A small bubble of laughter burst forth from her at his disarray, and how charming he was despite it. He started to say something, no doubt a bit of boasting over how they ended up here, but Kaia didn’t let him finish. There’d be time for words later. All she wanted to do was kiss him, the loveable scamp. And that was exactly what she did.

***

Three months later, Kaia stood at the entrance to Kilkreath, her hand resting on her horse’s neck as she watched the newest disciples listen while with Darien gave a lecture of the Radiant Lady’s teachings. Outwardly, he showed nothing but respect for Meridia. Kaia, who hid a smile as Darien answered a discple’s question about the Colored Rooms, knew he bore this penance with a knight’s patience.

“You realize you’re the only one among her followers who can be honest about their prince,” Kaia reminded him as they rode away from the temple, the priests’ fond farewells still echoing behind them.

Darien, who had turned to wave to the priests, smiled over at her. “I know,” he said. “If they knew how boring her speeches really were, they’d beg me to stop telling them about her.”

“It could be worse,” Kaia reasoned with a smile. “She could make you visit _all_ her temples in Tamriel instead of just the ones in Summerset for that stunt you pulled.”

Darien chuckled. “And I’d do it again if it meant I’d be in the company of a beautiful woman,” he said, his eyes gleaming. 

Kaia just rolled her eyes.

They rode on in silence for a time. Winter still clung to this part of Skyrim, though Kaia glimpsed fresh spring growth toward the south. The sense of renewal wasn’t solely reserved for the season, either. The winter months allowed Kaia and Darien to rekindle their relationship. Darien’s time in the Colored Rooms had tempered his spirit, but he was as charming and gallant as ever. They hadn’t shared more than a kiss that first night of his return, for Darien demonstrated respect for her recent widowhood. Kaia not only appreciated him for this, but his friendship. For the first time since they met, their relationship wasn’t impacted by immediate danger. This allowed the passionate spark that started between them to grow into a warm, steady fire. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” Darien asked, drawing Kaia from her thoughts. “Summerset is a hell of a lot warmer than Solitude. Plus I still need to tell you about my adventures with some wandering warriors. Their leader was a lot like you, actually.” 

“Did you try charming her, too?” Kaia asked in teasing tones.

At this, Darien emphatically shook his head. “Are you kidding? She scared the daylights out of me.”

Kaia laughed at the vision of Darien cowed by a fierce woman. “I’ll meet you at the tavern in Alinor once I’m finished in Solitude. I need to go back to Artaeum, too. Valsirenn will want to know what happened between us and Meridia.”

Darien nodded at her words, though his expression turned contemplative at mention of Solitude. He looked toward the horizon, his hands gripping the reins just so. “It’s strange,” he said quietly. “I get glimpses of places I’ve never been to. The idea of sitting by the fire with a book makes me happy, and you know I’m not one for books,” he said with a shake of the head. 

Kaia gazed upon him with a sympathetic look. “Seems like there’s a little bit of Aron in you.”

“Yeah.” Darien drew rein, then turned in the saddle to face Kaia. She had just slowed her horse when he reached for her hand. She took it, unable to keep from smiling as he squeezed her hand. “We owe him everything.”

Kaia linked her fingers with his. “We do,” she agreed softly. 

The two remained silent for a few moments, their hands clasped, eyes locked. Then Darien flashed that charming smile of his, and it went right to Kaia’s heart.

“I’ll see you in Alinor,” he said cheerfully, released her hand and pressed his heels to his horse’s sides.

Kaia watched him gallop off until he disappeared over a hill and turned her horse to the west. However, she felt something rub at her wrist as she brushed it against the pommel. Curious, Kaia looked down, only to smile at the flower tucked just out of sight. She took it to her nose and breathed in its sweet aroma, then slipped it behind her belt. Just like a knight to court with flowers.

Still smiling, Kaia urged her horse into a canter. Not knowing what the future held for them felt so freeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this little headcanon of mine. :)


End file.
